I was with Phillip Scott for 7 years.

Oh Mr. Scott,

Let’s start with pros and cons…

Pros - Has an extensive knowledge on indigenous ways, runs a tight ceremony, sticks to protocols, brings communities together and has a genuine desire to help others in ceremonial settings. 

Cons - Is a manipulative person, he knows what you’re doing at all times, he uses your insecurities to entangle you into staying, he doesn’t allow you to leave without putting up a fight, makes you “sign” life long contracts without your knowledge and will get extremely mad when you break said contract, tries to get you to ditch your family and relationships to serve him, instills in you utter insecurity to trust no one - not even yourself, lies, and the list goes on and on. 

I’ve was with Phillip for 7 years and at first I thought I found my way of life. A community that gets together and works for a higher purpose - prayer, healing, and coming back to our old ways of living was perfect sounding at the time. 

I spent a lot of time with this man; at his house, in ceremony, in the car, at the grocery store, etc.. I’ve seen who he is in every situation and this man is a troubled person. He has really wonderful sides to him but his darkness overshadows every good quality he has. 

I left Mr. Scott’s community after the situation with Louis (first post on this forum) occurred. Louis is one of my greatest I’ve had. Phillip and Louis had a falling out and I felt stuck in the middle. Phillip was pinning Louis as a liar, a thief, a disrespectful and lost person. Louis was telling the truth of what occurred between them two. I was afraid to leave the community, so for a while I lost contact with Louis. 

Shortly after, I started having panic attacks at ceremonies and every time Phillip Scott would reach out to me via text or phone call. My body was telling me something wasn’t right. But I still needed to show up even when my body was telling me to RUN. See, what Phillip does is get you in vulnerable states through beautiful ceremonies and basically tells you to do things you’re not comfortable with. 

“This is your family now” 

“You serve this way of life, for your life” 

“When anything bad happens in life, you come here” 

What I didn’t realize he was doing then was creating an agreement that he would later use against you as ammunition if you don’t show up to any ceremony. 

I lived my life walking on egg shells. 

Phillip has a wonderful way of integrating himself into every nook and cranny of your entire life. If you did something, he’d find out, and you better say sorry if it goes against his will. 

Towards the end, my mother was sick and needed help so I couldn’t go to a ceremony. I called him to notify him. He said…“Your mother is how old? She can take care of herself”. I responded, “I understand, however, I am still going to skip and take care of her.” 

Phillip said, “You made a commitment to show up. Well, good luck.” And hung up the phone. 

A simple interaction, but one that left me feeling awful about myself. Questioning, should I go take care of my mother or serve the ego of Phillip Scott. I ended up going back home and felt incredibly safe for the first time in a while. 

A month later, I was so distraught with finding out what happened between Louis and Phillip, seeing Phillip trying to cover it up and pinning Louis as a bad person, being gaslit 24/7 by this man, and I felt so stuck in this community; I wanted to kill myself. I woke up one morning with violent images in my head and voices telling me to end my life. It happened to be the morning of a ceremony. I luckily had the sense to go to the hospital to put myself on suicide watch. I informed Phillip about this and that I wouldn’t be able to attend a the sweat lodge that day. Phillip’s reaction was not understanding. Instead of support, I received guilt for checking myself into the hospital. “You come to the lodge. We will take care of you here. The hospital will do absolutely nothing for you.” 

Sir, I am suicidal. Going into a sweat lodge under your control will not help with that. 

When I was in the hospital under a self induced 5150, I had never felt more safe in my entire life. The feeling of suicide went away immediately because Phillip could not reach me in there. There were gate keepers between him and I. Safety! 

He breaks you down in such a way that it makes it difficult to say no. It starts out small and he takes until he sees how far your boundaries can go. 7 years was a long time of manipulation that I didn’t realize how deep his claws went in until I tried to pull them out. 

I got out of the hospital and arrived back home. I decided I needed to get the hell out of the Bay Area. Some distance will do me good. Any excuse to not have him close by. He knew where I lived, he knew my family, my friends, and I just needed to run. 

So I packed my things up and called him. 

“Phillip, I am moving.” 

“Oh, where to.” 

“Somewhere else. I need to get out of the bay.” 

“Well, will you still be coming around to ceremony.” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Well, I don’t think you can do that. Like you can move away for a little, but you will need to come back.” 

“What?” 

“Well, see, you signed a life long contract with me and this fire place. So it’s disrespectful if you leave. If you leave, really bad things may start happening in your life” 

“Phillip, I didn’t know. You never said anything about a life long contract.” 

“I wouldn’t have had let you touch my fire place if I knew you would leave. That’s not how we do things. You can leave for a bit, but you will need to come back because of the contract you have with my fire place and I.” 

“I don’t know. I think I have to move.” 

“Well, why are you just now telling me this? This isn’t of integrity. Remember in ceremony how you said you wanted to be of integrity. You aren’t holding up and being a man of your word.” 

“…. I am still moving. I need to get out of here.” 

“Okay, good luck. Again, things may happen if you break this contract. Good luck.” 

Hangs up phone 

I was back in the hospital that night. The personal safety that this man took away from me was extreme. I feared for my life and the well being of others around me.

I have been out of the community for a year and a half now. I have had horrible PTSD, dissociation, and other trauma responses from this relationship. I have had to start over from scratch. For years, this was my life, and now it’s all gone. I am learning to walk again and figure out who I am without this tyrant in my life. 

Even now, I feel bad about writing this. I am afraid of what you will think of me Phillip. What words and fancy language you may use to describe how I’m acting against your will Phillip. How I am the bad one in this situation, Phillip. How my family or friends could have something bad happen to them if I say this, Phillip. 

Phillip, I understand you are a sick person. A narcissist, a child who was hurt in his earlier years, a misunderstood human trying his best like the rest of us. I don’t want to take you down. I worry about you still to this day Phillip. However, when most of your victims are having to relearn how to live their lives and deal with the repercussions of this toxic relationship, I have to warn others. I wish you the best and I hope you can find some help. More importantly, I hope the victims can get the help they need.